Living experience on a raw food farm – Day 20

Day 20 1/1/05

Aaahh, the New Year. New things, new possibilities.

It doesn’t feel like something new. It feels like the same old stuff. Holidays, special occasions, new years, etc. don’t really mean too much to me out here. When I was living in the real world, I always knew when something “special” is going on. Here, the cows don’t care, the Amish kind of care, and I really don’t care at all.

I’m getting comfortable here, I’d be more comfortable if there was a warm ocean nearby and I could surf. English people think the Amish are weird or cultish for some of the things they do. Now that I’m living with them, I understand the benefit.
Amish don’t allow records, cds, instruments, etc. That may seem weird, and since they’re not spending their time up in their room with their headphones on, when they want music, they sing or play the harmonica. Which is tons more fun than listening to a record. That’s probably why people are always hard up for the live version of cds, because they want the feeling and energy of actually being there. I’d rather be singing or playing the harmonica with a bunch of good people than listening to a cd any day.
Amish people don’t go out and buy a bunch of extravagant clothes. They get to learn how to make their own. If they want a new dress, they just make it. People like to think the Amish are weird or strange and they forget to look at how fucked up their world they live in is that they think is “normal”.

Albert took the two Jerseys over to his dad’s farm yesterday. It was too much trouble bringing their milk over all the time. I miss them. I wonder if they miss me, probably not.

It was summer in full effect today. Sun was shining, slight breeze, birds were chirping. I had to take a lot of layers off. It felt great; I decided to take a walk out onto the field where the cows were. They were all staring at me as soon as I walked out there. One or two of them came over to me, which was slightly unusual; one of them sniffed my hand. I bent over and one of them sniffed my butt.

It was beautiful out there. I started walking towards the other end of the field, the cows behind me started following. I thought it was cute. I saw the bull up and to the left a little ways. He had about 3 girl cows around him. He was pimping it. He would try to hump some of the cows. They usually wouldn’t let him. The girl cows tried to hump him a couple of times, he wouldn’t let them. The girl cows tried to hump each other, the “humpee’s” didn’t like that too much. It was like a big cow orgy, it was funny. A girl cow would be standing there and another one would come up from behind and try to hump the other one. The other one say, “Uh-uh” and try to get away. It looked like the cow was trying to hump with her udders which looked like a bulky 4 pronged penis.

The further I walked down the field, the more the cows would follow me. I would stop sometimes and they would literally surround me. I thought it was cute, and then started getting freaked out. Did cows attack? They wouldn’t take their eyes off of me.

The bull would come over sometimes and paw the dirt and growl. I’m not as afraid of him as I used to be. I had to get him inside to mate with the blind cow that Albert keeps in the barn to give milk to the calves. He wouldn’t come. I was standing in above ankle deep field of cow poop, only a couple of feet away from him, saying things like. “Hee-Yaw” and waving my arms. I wouldn’t have been able to run very fast. He was angry too, sometimes he didn’t back down. I wonder if he can see in the dark better than me.

I slept a lot today. Albert usually takes New Year’s off. He was too busy to do that today. He works a lot, and still spends time with his kids. They hang out with him when he’s working sometimes. They need to quit whining big time. Lisa and Lucy whine all the time, sometimes I want to smack them. Marie says she needs to begin disciplining more(1). I hope they start soon.

For breakfast I ate scrapple, an apple (that rhymes), kim-chee, some cheese, and sweet potato hash browns. I made the family that and awesome omelets. For dinner I had and made hamburgers, creamed spicy corn (the twins were confused, they like corn and couldn’t figure out what was wrong with this one, they kept on rubbing their tongues because it was spicy), mashed potatoes and something fermented. For a snack in the midday, I had yogurt colostrum, an apple and honey.

1. Some Amish are really hardcore with their kids and rule with an iron fist. Others, like Sara and Albert, let their kids run the show a little more. That is how it was with me and my parents. I could and would manipulate my parents to get anything that I wanted. It ended up really hurting me socially; when I went to college, I didn’t even know how to do my own laundry. Now that I am a man, and trying to establish myself, there is the unconscious feeling in the back of my mind that says, “Hey Nate, if you fuck up, you can always just stay with mom and dad.” I hate that. I don’t have a sense of self sufficiency in me. This is what I am trying to do with my life now. Learn how to rely on myself and not be a leech.

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